dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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