that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
