Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
