How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
