I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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