Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
