I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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