i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
