Soap is not a condiment
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
