The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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