No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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