how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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