you traded sex for a burrito?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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