Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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