I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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