You smell like a Billy Joel song
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
