we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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