Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she peed on how many people?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
