pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
only if we run a train.
done.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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