you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
