he wants to bone in the snuggie
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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