Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
