TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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