Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
there's paper in my vomit.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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