My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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