i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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