i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
