Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
