This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
