I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
