i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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