she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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