I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
