it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just had sex on a roof
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
