69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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