Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
