If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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