After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
