Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
home. puking in laundry basket.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
