i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
