You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
