So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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