She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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