Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
