Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
