barbara walters just said penis...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
