The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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