my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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