Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
