Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Everything about him screamed your future.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
