Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
this hospital has no fireball
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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