going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
